Apologies for that empty horizon, mama.

Side note: This. I can relate so much to this piece.

She is misinterpreting my silence.
(Coloring it for complacency)
My stature for carelessness.
She shed tears for me -
Weeping for a life I haven’t lived,
And probably never will.
Her heart broke for me,
(And I hid mine away!)
and she cried,
                and cried,
                           and cried.

I didn’t feel her loss -
I only felt that Winter’s fire
that was held in every tear.
I felt the gentle slope
of her chapped lips as they
Fell like stars,
           Cascading from the sky.
       Mama, Mama,
                   Please,
                         Don’t cry.

I didn’t feel her break -
(my hands were holding my heart,)
My heart was keeping
that boundless ocean of sorrow,
(comprised of my tears), contained.
I couldn’t reach her -
(sorrow was too heavy to share),
and I couldn’t hold her
I couldn’t
        I couldn’t
               I couldn’t.

I watched her fall
        I watched her fall
             I watched her fall.
when she saw my future,
(Don’t look, mama,)
          (Don’t look)
                 (Don’t look)
                     (Don’t look.)
and realized
that it was empty.

She fell apart before me,
Her iridescence fractured
into another reckless sea
of sorrow and distorted hope
And wishes
        And dreams…
              And oh how she had hoped!
and I couldn’t bare to…
            I couldn’t..
                  Wouldn’t…
I couldn’t bare to add to it…
So I chained my wrists
to the shackles already on my tongue
and mourned it all in silence,
watching voicelessly
as she was undone
but my future’s impermanence.
                 Don’t cry, mama.
                         Don’t cry,
                               Don’t cry,
                                        Don’t cry…

                    I’m sorry.